Dont read this one , u will not get it

I dont know what am i going to write , but still i will.
I really hate the feeling of coming back from lab , willing to relax on Gol C, but not having anyone with me and when i see people enjoying i feel more desprate.
Read J's blog abt friends and realized at this point of time i too dont have anyone whom i call a "friend".There are poeple with whom i work , with whom i joke, with whom i fight and with whom i go to chedies but still there is a void somewhere.
Sometimes i feel really lonely and feel like there should be someone who can understand me, who can give his/her shoulder to rest my head upon and can patiently listen to the agony of my heart.however there is only one person in the world who can do this, my mom, but she is rather too far ,too busy in her daily chores and i really dont want to disturb her...
the only thing left with me right now is by blog which obediently listens to me but i dont think that i like other people can manage it this way....i am rather desparte to have love showered upon me...but this is the reality and i will have to live it.
i really hate coming back from Gol C..

current muisc:Robbie Williams -Feel(becuz its goes with me right now)
Come and hold my hand
I wanna contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given

I sit and talk to God
And he just laughs at my plans
My head speaks a language
I don't understand

I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste

I don't want to die
But I ain't keen on living either
Before I fall in love
I'm preparing to leave her
I scare myself to death
That's why I keep on running
Before I've arrived
I can see myself coming

I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
'Cause I got too much life
Running through my veins
Going to waste
And I need to feel real love
And a life ever after
I cannot give it up

I just want to feel real love
Feel the home that I live in
I got too much love
Running through my veins
To go to waste

I just wanna feel real love
In a life ever after
There's a hole in my soul
You can see it in my face
It's a real big place

Come and hold my hand
I want to contact the living
Not sure I understand
This role I've been given
Not sure I understand

Sunny Days

Yes the days have really turned hot here at KGP.

But after a lot of time i am finally enjoying my stayback here.I have got into a good routine , sleep around 6 or 7, wake up around 1 or 2 .By 3 or 3:30 i reach the lab.So i escape the heat either by sleeping or by being in the lab.

The time from 12:00 to 6:00 is really exiting .The shear opulence of kb's room, my new revolving chair and the cool breeze make my life really easy.

The time in the lab has been spiced up more , since the bandis look up to me to play music(hey i along with JD have discovered how to play music on thin clients.....exiting na....)and every time they seem frust i make them more by putting up earphones....its real fun teasing them.

I had started reading Archer but due to the scarcity of time had to leave it in between. Refering to time, its passing rather swiftly and i am sceptical about finishing my project till 15th since the work is getting tougher(but exciting also) and time is running out of hands.

Its good to hear that my friends are enjoying in Mumbai(http://gulegulzar.blogspot.com).Although i am not leaving any comments on the blogs i read , but still i am reading them.

and since to balance the things i have a bad news too.The yahoo messenger on my linux machine has crashed , so i will not be able to talk to u guys(see the irony :::my status message before crashing was "a man's silence is worth listening".....for some reasons which i have not conveyed till now, was hoping my silence could be understood.....)

chalo guys got to go.......miles to code before i sleep...

bye,have a nice time...

and haan sangeeta u can take the song ....becuz bandis in the lab dont like hearing too often :-))

a state called frust.............

yes the demons of "frustness" have got a tight hold over me..
ever since the day the seniors left one hour in the room seems like a whole day.even though the work i have is pretty interesting but since they excess of everything is bad , but i say not bad but boring.....
well try to spend the day time in lab ,for some reasons:-) ..but thats not worth it .....if u ma be wondering wht r those reasons ::well there r 2 very very frust bandis from bhu doing some kinda project under some unknown prof...and in my state of hyperfrustness , these seem to me like "good"....i cant believe that i am writing this but......he he i know that i am at the peak of frustness but i cant help...
and JD being my sole companion u can imagine my state...

may be i need some dosage of home to get back to normal , but thats far away until 15 th june.....

hope to spend this frust time fruitfully.....

ps:i am not that not as frust as i seem to be , but may be today i am being a bit nostalgic...chalo koi baat nahin hota hain.....and one more thing , i would like to clear that i am not maroing any type of cali on these bandis,,,,people who r close to me know my funda of life...i only talk to bandis who r like sisters to me...otherwise i dont....he he ...u may be thinking that wht a maniac this man is but i am like this and there is no probs in admitting it..and if u r still reading then i have to say that u have no other work to do.....

curent music::woh lamhe woh baatein, even when i am sleeping

chalo bbye.
cya

missing u guys

abe sahi main aaj i was missing u guys.....
while coming back from the lab saw a lot of people at gol c..
tum log yahan hote to baith kar bhaat marte .........ya fhir tinni aur main stars se shapes banate .......or tinni ka koi naya chu****pa kate....magar mazza aata yaar

but koi baat nahin , u guys enjoying in mumbai , and me here...
chal hope that we come online together...

mixed thoughts

well hadn't posted for long , may be nothing interesting was up , or may be i was busy in those treats bestowed upon me :-)thanx guys....will miss u a lot..........

but today was a day full of disappointment......
the morning paper initiated it---
1.there was report on jharkhand where half the population hasn't even seen a car , but the ministers are planning to build a helipad costing lakhs adjacent to the gov. office even when one exits 2 kms away, on the pretext that it is too far....
2.Rahul Gandhi is not receiving any help from state gov. for development in amethi....abe yaar theres atleast one guy who wants to work and they are also shunning him out......
3.then the bigger one--America is developing a space based system to deploy weapons , which can launch attack any where in the world in a flash of time.....whats this....is earth proving too small a place, that they are taking this arms race to space.....
4.and then our own Advani 'ji' says that that the left parties are blocking the path to prosperity.....just see the irony.....his party has been sitting more outside the parliament house than inside ......and the guy talks abt country's prosperity....abe if he was so concerned y did his party stay out of the budget sessions....hypocrites.....

sometimes i think that i should be a politician , so that i could do something for my country.....but that's certainly not possible....:-)
may be they should have a minimum criteria of education for a minister or even for that matter a mp.

if the politics wasn't enough , there were other downs....
my project partner wrote a total piece of shit on the name of code.......or may be i was expecting too much out of him(hey yaar no offense to u, may be i am a little frust)...but the point is that i will have to do it again :-<.

and spice my life more , after watching o.c. 224 i realized that the season was off :-<<

just wondering that if there is a co-relation between weather and my day being gloomy together....well if thats so than i got better days ahead , becuz its mostly sunny at kgp..

chalo guys have fun.........
cya.

A Good Day Of My Life

It has been an aberrative day till now.

Majorly becuz i got an Ex in COA , which means that i now will get a nehlli.wow it feels wonderful.I had to wait 4 semesters to make this happen.
Reddy u will surely get a treat now as i had promised u.

Secondaly , i got some substancial work from SS now it seems it will be fun doing it.

Thirdly , toady i finally woke up early enough to for a 2.2 .

fourthly , today i am also happy for someone else.I heard that shaunak would get a 10.0 if he geta an ex in nss.may he get it.

chalo bhai log bye.

ps:if any one wants to know his grades offline me.

Adieu D-139

Finally the day has come when i have shifted to a rather clean environment .We had last cleaned our room in the beginning of the semester and after that the room has turned into a store in which u can find every specie of lizards and insects, with hardly any space to sleep.Even the cobwebs had descended down to the table.
but now its histroy as i have temporarily shifted to imzi's room .
there are a few important points to note:
1.imzi had the same brand of monitor , even the same model , which made my work half as monitor shifting was not required.
2.the amount of other things(clothes and toiletries) that were shifted were negligible with respect to amount of electronic media shifted(both in quantity and surface area :-) )
3.imzi had left nothing to eat in his room :-< .
4.with kapil's room being the next one u dont have to worry abt music because there is always some nice song going on.
5.this room is atleast 4 times cooler than my previous room.
6.i dont have a double bed to sleep as was the case with my previous room.
7.the bathroom is really close by in contrast to the previous room.
8.for the first time in the last one year i have taken the trouble of filling the water bottle.


There only 2 things i fear now:
1.I think place is going to burn in the afternoon time.
2.COA grades are near by.

Summing up the Semester

Last 4 months could be rated as second in terms of the quality of time which i have spent in last 20 years, although i dont remember the first five.
The best time was those illu days and whenever i think of those chatais , the mess top specially , blood runs at twice the speed inside my viens and even now tears come to my eyes.
Coming back to this semester i was really exited to see my cg card as it was a decent one and everyone else had makhoed.Then came the alumni meet , although i was not directly involved , i had those meals of lifetime at vikramshila and in one of the meals the only thing i ate was salad!!!Can u believe it.Also the alumni night at the hall was "mast" with some of the profs like PPC revealing the secrets of their days.

Once alumni meet was over then came the Sf and Kshitij.Really enjoyed strings , girls, the "jhula" at the arena, and of course perpz.Days before kshitij were damm packed with me and tinni tring to code and v did it for continuous 1 week and without missing any class(shabash shabash).Also kshitij helped me and tinni to discover a new friend for whom v worked day and night.Robotix was the only event i was able to see and it was great.(hats off to reddy and golu).

After the mid sems were over it was the cpu load that took over and all the time during the days i was in the lab and during the nights figuring out what to do the next day.I even dreamt of the cpu.Finally i was among the batches who had completed the design in good time but till today no paper work has been done and i have got to submit the file in a few dayys .but the good thing is that tinni is willing to help me this time .I am lucky!!!!

In between came the hall elections and the final year farewell and the freshers trt by the new wing seniors.The treat was good but the most senti moment of the semester was the day when the 3rd years leaving for training , knowing that when they come back all the senoirs r not going to be there.even i had a heavy heart that day , 3rd years were going and final years are just abt to leave.God only knows how will v live without them.

Surprisingly i am not in a mood to go home.I dont know why.!!!!